Monday Memories With My Mom

The Adventures of Caring for a Mom With Alzheimer's Disease
     So, the day after my last post I received a call from the Area Agency on Aging care manager.  She said they would like to get my mom a "private duty" aide to help my mom in the mornings.  It would be someone from the same Med Team company, but the person would work exclusively with my mom in the mornings.  Get her up and dressed, take her to breakfast, take her to exercise class, and maybe to lunch -- something like four hours.  After discussing a few details, I said I thought it would be great.  My only real initial concern is that the person be there early enough so that my mom doesn't get up on her own and start getting dressed and ready.  We agreed we would start this in the next day or two.  We would tweak the timing as necessary.
     I thanked her and told her I was grateful to start seeing some positive changes.  It's still hard to get too excited, as past history has made me a bit distrustful. 
     I also needed to bring some supplies to my mom last Thursday (Halloween).  My mom was not in her apartment which allowed me to tidy up and look around.  I was curious if this new "private duty" person had started yet.  I went to one of the other "spying" vantage points and saw my mom at lunch in the dining room.

     Upon closer look, it did appear a woman was seated with my mom who had a badge on.  I assumed she could very well have been the new aide, but I didn't want to intervene, especially if it was her first day with my mom.  A bit later I felt bad not at least saying hello to my mom.  I went down and gave her a kiss.  The aide woman was not there at that point.

     I learned that my mom was going to stay in the dining room as the Halloween Party was going to be starting soon.  Some days I would stay, but today that was my cue to leave (before getting trampled by walkers and wheelchairs, ghosts and goblins!).

     Then, Friday, after a long day and a night time high school football game, I received a call around 11:30 pm from the Med Team.  Yep, my mom had fallen...again!!  The girl said she was saying her "hip hurt", but she was able to walk and no blood (this time).  I was familiar with this particular aide who called and told her to feel free to call me again during the night if she got worse.  She was going to check on her a couple of times through the night.  I never heard back from her.  I talked to my mom on the phone in the morning and asked her how she felt.  Then I asked specifically how her hip felt.  She said it hurt, but now it doesn't hurt any more.  Then, later, she said it hurt.  So, yeah, the usual dilemma.  In the beginning, I wanted to rush her to the ER for every fall, and now I try to calmly wait and see how she does.  The ER would be upsetting, uncomfortable, confusing, and probably wouldn't be able to do much to help.  It's hard because she is barely able to communicate her own feelings. 
     In the meantime, I received this flyer in the mail.  Wow -- they're even having an informational session with the woman I have been meeting with to get my mom's care on track.  Yep, I signed up.  Although I have spoken with her several times already, I am interested to hear their formal introduction of exactly what it's all about.
     Yesterday, on the way to my dad's birthday dinner, me and my girls went to see my mom for ourselves.  I was a little disappointed that my mom's apartment seemed to be in a bit of disarray, her hair did not seem particularly clean, and she was looking a bit dissheveled.  However, nothing major that I could be too critical of.  I looked at her hip and asked her to walk around.  I saw no bruising and she walked fine.  Who knows!???? 
Trying to keep this post short and sweet as you guys have
 endured some long posts lately!!!




Anonymous said...

Don't ever feel your posts need to be "short and sweet" . . . post as much as you need.

yaya said...

I think progress is happening there...I love how you peek in on your Mom. I smiled at the pic of her in the dinning room. Why? Because there is a little old lady looking up at you..sort of "photo bomb" if you ask me! I'm glad no broken hips were had on that fall. I hope the care continues to improve.

Lilly Forever! said...

Oh Cindy! Those calls, the falls, the new aides, it is so frustrating. Stay strong, you CAN do this! Your Mom is so lucky to have such a good daughter! I did, have to chuckle with you at one point, I also used to spy on my Mom too!

"d" said...

Love reading your blog, girlie...Even if I'm not consistent! You are the best! ...a great friend and an amazing daughter/caregiver! XO

Jane said...

Cindy, I don't even know how to leave a comment--maybe this one will go through (I'll try again...).
After reading your blog and catching up on your Mom's challenges, I must commend you on the love, caring, respect, time, everything else that you are doing for your Mom. I can see that it is a terribly hard journey for you, both mentally and physically. You are a wonderful daughter and she is so lucky to have you in her life. Cindy, your children are watching you and learning about love and respect no matter what the circumstances. I can already see how they treat their Grandma with a great deal of love and tenderness. You are doing everything possible for your Mom. Much love to you and your Mom--Jane (BFF)

Nicolle said...

You are such a wonderful caregiver and daughter to your sweet mom. Reading this makes my heart ache but also makes me smile that she has such a great advocate in you. Too many people get neglected and it breaks my heart. I hope you are doing well!