Monday "Memories" With My Mom

     One thing that has come up in the past month is that another male resident in my mom's senior living community has been showing extra attention to my mom.  His name is "Don".  The last name will be withheld to protect the innocent.  My mom had been remarking to me in phone calls, "did I tell you one of the guys here has the hots for me"??  (Yes, that is what she says...Lord help me!!)  I said, "oh really, did you tell him to get in line"?  To which she said, "pretty much".  (We laughed.)  This is the way me and my mom work.  I know my mom, and she loves to flirt...particularly now that her inhibitions have been significantly let down (or non-existent)!  I have verified the truth of this "male attention" from one of my mom's lady resident friends.
     As of yet, I don't think there is any reason to be overly concerned, but I am on alert.  I have watched numerous documentaries on Alzheimer's Disease and movies related to it.  It is not at all uncommon for a married spouse with Alzheimer's to be in an assisted living facility and develop an intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex.  In fact, I distinctly remember one such story where the wife of a man with Alzheimer's routinely visited him and all the while her husband was holding hands with his new "lady friend".  There are many similar stories out there.  When you get right down to it, it is all so bittersweet.  The amount of understanding and compassion one would have to have to be ok with that for the sake of the other spouse is amazing. 
     Who would have thought that at my age I might have to possibly look out for my mom and make sure there is nothing inappropriate going on with the men in her life!!??  Can you say "awkward"!!  I guess I have no problem with innocent flirtations, affections, and the like, but knowing my mom and her inability to know right from wrong, I have to make sure things remain innocent.  In some weird way, I am happy for my mom if someone "likes" her.  Oh, and don't put it past me to literally "spy" on my mom.  I will simply peer over the balcony during one of their breakfasts or lunches and see what goes on.  Who knows, I may even take pictures.  I do not mean to make light of it all, but that's what we do around here to manage living with this disease my mom has.
     We'll see if what happens at American House...stays at American House!? Meanwhile, today is my mom's 68th birthday (she thinks she is 69), and I will be back next Monday with more news about that!!
  Happy Birthday, Mom!!!


Kerri said...

Happy Birthday to your mom! I hope she enjoys her day. I hope this mans intentions with your mom are innocent. I love your mom's sense of humor about it! The story about the wife going to visit her husband breaks my heart...I can't even imagine such a thing to witness.

Sarah said...

That's cute : Do you know if the gentleman-suitor is married? Does he have dementia also?
We have a "fixture" in one of our nursing homes here also. A man and woman who sit on a bench in the hall and hold hands. Only he's married. And his wife visits him. But he's come to think of this other female resident as his companion. I bet it is hard for the wife :(

Donna said...

Go Mare! :)))