Monday "Memories" With My Mom

The Adventures of Caring for a Mom With Alzheimer's Disease
     You might recall from a previous post that my mom seems to have a "gentleman friend" at her senior living facility.  Since then, I have been preparing myself for a visit with my mom where, quite possibly, I could walk in her apartment and find her new "gentleman friend" there with her!!??  So far, I have not "caught" them together in the dining room, hallway or apartment.
     However, when I visited last week I did get quite an earful from a few people.  To quote Daffy Duck (or was it Sylvester) "this is more serious than I thought". 
     First off, I went to the dining room while my mom and the residents were having lunch.  Upon visiting with one of my mom's new friends (who is the mother-in-law of one of my girlfriends), I found she had a lot to say.  We will call my mom's friend "D".  D feels responsible for my mom.  She is 88, but more "with it" mentally than my mom (remember, my mom is 68).  She expressed concern over the PDAs (public displays of affection for those who may not know) that my mom and her gentleman friend have been exhibiting.  She doesn't want my mom to get "hurt".  Of course, neither do I.  She is protective of my mom in a sweet way.  I assured her that she did not need to feel responsible for my mom, and reassured her that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to reason with my mom.
     Then, I ran into the housekeeping girls in my mom's apartment and the one girl wanted to be sure I was aware of my mom's "gentleman friend".  (What should I call him, anyway?)  So, we talked about it, and she said sometimes the families are the last to know.  She also shared some stories of the goings on that they are aware of.  (The staff could write a book, too.)
     Meanwhile, I noticed my mom still dines with her lady friends.  They have assigned seating.  Also, I noticed my mom came straight back to her apartment after lunch, so I know she wasn't with the "gentleman" after lunch.  However, all of this talk is/was making me feel a-w-k-w-a-r-d!!!  I sensed that some of the people there couldn't wait to make sure I knew my mom had this friend. 
    As luck would have it, the Executive Director of the facility was in the hallway on my way out.  She instinctively knew I was concerned about my mom's situation.  She assured me that it had not become a "problem", and that she would let me know if it was.  I like her and I think I have a good raport with her.  She was instrumental in getting my mom into the facility initially.
     I am realizing that the dynamics of the senior living facility are not unlike high school.  There are the "popular" men and women, the "couples", the principal (executive director), secretary (office manager), PE teacher (activities director), cafeteria (dining room), custodians (housekeeping), school nurses (medical team), etc.... 
     Aside from perhaps exhibiting some unnecessary PDAs and occasionally making a few others uncomfortable, I do not think my mom is the "Rizzo" (Grease) or "Pinky Tuscadero" (Happy Days) of her senior living facility -- I think she is trying to enjoy life while she can.

* If you are interested, please show your support to the Alzheimer's Association by signing a petition urging the President to issue a strong National Alzheimer’s Plan, backed by the resources to get it done.  If have ever dealt with this disease firsthand, I know you will sign.  For those who haven't, consider supporting this research to ensure that you never have your life turned upside down by this devastating disease.

http://www.alz.org/DM/Advocacy/013012.htm

Having trouble viewing this message? You may also view it as a web page. To prevent mailbox filters from deleting these email communications, please add Alzheimer’s Association to your address book.

Dear Friend, We are ready to make history, but is Washington ready to join us? Right now, the Obama Administration is developing the first National Alzheimer’s Plan in the history of the United States. Since the passage and enactment of the National Alzheimer’s Project Act (NAPA) last January, millions of Americans like you have been eagerly waiting to see what commitment the Administration will make to fight this devastating disease. Our families won’t forget the promises that leaders in Washington made to us as they agreed to create a National Alzheimer’s Plan. We now must ask the President to seize this opportunity to lead the fight against Alzheimer’s. Sign our online petition urging the President to issue a strong National Alzheimer’s Plan, backed by the resources to get it done. We are ready to make history. We need you to stand up and call for action. Please take a moment to support this historic effort. Help ensure the White House remembers our families. Alzheimer’s can’t wait. Robert Egge Vice President, Public Policy Alzheimer's Association

The Alzheimer's Association is the world’s leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer's care, support and research. Our mission is to eliminate Alzheimer's disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health. Our vision is a world without Alzheimer's disease. Alzheimer's Association National Office 225 N. Michigan Ave., Fl. 17, Chicago, IL 60601 © 2011 Alzheimer's Association. All rights reserved. http://www.alz.org/ | 800.272.3900 To change your e-mail preferences click here.